October 10, 2018 - I'm Feeling lonely / Gone too soon?

2:15 AM - I woke up with the sound following quiet, just my head and my body feel sweaty. every moment that i was with her is surface, i don't know what i have supposed to do now, but i'm trying to forget all over it, but i can't, it's hard to forget but i have to, why ? i think this is my curse, i realize, because my shit problem happened in the past.

The quetion is, why i should feelin' blue of her, that she's hopefully of another heart? yeah i know, i'm stupid, but this love, i don't want to make myself to this risk in the future again, because this love is fake, i don't want to, NEVER! I hate this memories! at all!

You pushin' me away, and go to the another heart, oh my god i'm feeling frustrating. why? i thought you were love me, you were talk about the future of our son, and i know this is really creepy, but you said that and i was listening you and i don't give a shit, look sorry, actually i was preparing of my destiny, i was saving my money day by day and today you were gone. i know this thing can't be change anything, but this story is about journey of my life. and i'm the one who serious shit of you.

Ganbate! they siad. you can! trust me.
ada yang lebih penting dari sekedar memperdulikan cinta ini, yakni orang tua aku, teman teman aku, dan aku menginginkan semuanya tersenyum. Never look back! Go Forward! or Die for nothing!

to be stronger and bad ass :D
aku punya waktu buat belajar sekiranya 5 tahun lagi, aku harus mempersiapkan untuk kedepannya, tahan tahan tahan tahan :D , ibu ......
bismillah.